Turn Your Everyday Relationships Into Gold
Mastering the art of happiness involves taking care of your relationships. Even if you have good relationships, you can always make them a little better... and the rewards and benefits are fantastic! New research shows us how to master our relationships to improve our health and well being. Relationships are our greatest investment. Yet most of us have put at least one important relationship on the back burner. Here are Richard's top ten tips for igniting the fires of old relationships and turning new relationships into pure gold.
Top Ten Art Of Happiness Tips
1. Give a little more time and attention to your relationships on a regular basis... doing little things daily... like making a surprise telephone call or sending an electronic greeting, an occasional reminder of your devotion, can go a long way toward increasing the excitement in a relationship. Whatever you do, don't ignore your relationships. Keep in touch!
2. Improve any relationship in need of special attention or repair. Relationship problems can often be solved by simply doing little things to remind someone of your affection. Don't have time? Just giving your spouse, for example, a hug every morning can mean a great deal to you both!
Little gestures of affection can make the other person feel good. If you need to apologize for something, do it. How long does a simple apology take? If you need to talk about a misunderstanding, do it. Stay focused and be BRIEF and optimistic! In the end, tell the other person how much you care about the relationship.
Say it loud and clear.
3. Speaking from your heart can make a big difference. The art of happiness entails honesty and direct communication. Sometimes we want to say heartfelt things, but chicken out. Take a deep breath and summon the courage to say what's in your heart. Your relationships are worth it.
4. Just be yourself inall your relationships. Even if you fear you are not good enough, or you won't be liked, being who you are will help you to avoid playing games and to put your best foot forward.
Avoid trying to impress people... or you'll stick out like a sore thumb!!!
Just be yourself and trust yourself. You'll avoid relationship problems and misunderstandings by being true to yourself. You never want to abandon yourself while seeking to impress others. And others will be more attracted to the real you than if you try to be someone you are not.
5. Be an optimist. People will love you for it and stand by you.
In a recent study, optimistic women were 25% LESS LIKELY TO GET BREAST CANCER than those who were not optimists. Optimism helped women to deal with traumatic events, as well.
In another study of men aged 65 - 80, optimistic men had half the heart attacks of men who were not optimistic. Optimism can help you live longer, according to other studies. We can all be more optimistic, with a little effort, and we'll solve our relationship problems more easily.
6. Be more grateful. Why? Gratitude is a validated strategy for decreasing depression.
When we are thankful for our gifts and blessings, express gratitude to others and give them credit for contributing to our happiness or success, we unleash an avalanche of positive feelings and good changes in our minds and bodies. Dwelling in gratitude will make you feel like a new person.
7. Be kind and helpful to everyone in your life, even your so-called enemies. No, it ani't easy! But it's a wise and powerful way to live. And there is research behind it. Plus, sages have advocated it for thousands of years.
Anyone can make a concerted effort to practice forgiveness, be kinder and more helpful. You can be kinder in simple ways, such as smiling more often, putting a spark in the tone of your voice and giving people the benefit of the doubt. And be sure to take note of how you feel when you do a good deed for someone.
Kindness is food for the soul, and it's a great relationship strategy. You'll not only decrease your relationship problems, and bring people closer to you, but you will feel wonderful!
I tell my clients all the time... kindness is a powerful ani-depressant!
Cultivate the art of kindness with your friends and strangers you meet, and you will be well on the way to mastering the art of happiness. Don't shun, avoid or speak down to someone who has hurt or disappointed you, just be kind to him. You'll put a positive energy into a negative situation.
8. Find the silver lining in any cloud. In the therapy world, we call this strategy "reframing." It's how we help people to perceive problems as more solvable and to see the possible good that can come out of them.
Epictetus, the Greek philosopher, said, "No matter what happens, it is within my power to turn it to my advantage."
It may take a little creative thinking, but you can turn any unwelcome event to your advantage. This skill will help you to convert relationship problems into new possibilities for change, growth and transformation.
9. Those who master the art of solving relationship problems kick the fault finding habit. Nothing could be more helpful to your relationships than this one little trick. Finding fault tears relationships down and works against your success. Like criticism, it is of little value and causes much damage.
In a marriage, criticism and fault finding do a number on relationship bliss and happiness, creating disharmony, distrust and distress.
10. Instead of finding fault, look for and identify strengths. Use your sleuthing powers to find the hidden good in others. You'll have the art of happiness working for you, and you'll be far more successful than those who seek to belittle or put other people down.
It really pays to be MORE positive in your relationship with yourself, too. Take very good care of yourself (it isn't selfish but necessary) and you'll increase your happiness level... plus you'll develop plenty of happy relationships.
In Short
Solve relationship problems and enjoy happy relationships by taking just a few minutes of your day. Be kind, optimistic and forgiving in all your affairs. Your relationships will support you in countless ways, and assist you in achieving your goals throughout life's hard journey. If you cultivate the best possible relationships, you will build a rock-solid foundation for success in your quest for genuine and lasting happiness.
Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with 30 years of experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.
You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Take a happiness quiz and see how you stack up. Find out about therapeutic services and personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly fulfilling your special needs and goals. Discover eBooks and other products, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.
For more information on conducting state-of-the-art relationships, the latest research on lasting happiness, and Richard's products and services, please go to: http://happy-relationships.com
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